Saturday, June 6, 2009

Stupid is my middle name (and you thought it was Michael)

Yesterday was a day of learning for my wife, myself and about human nature in general.

I have an enjoyable habit that, to some, might be considered dangerous and stupid. I like to feed the squirrels that hangout by my kitchen window. One little guy we have come to call Bob, likes to sit outside the window and scratch the glass until I place a few sunflower seeds on the sill. We have become buddies.
Yesterday Bob got a little too enthused and nipped my finger, drawing blood and causing a trip to the emergency room for a tetanus shot. That was it. Or so I thought.
It seems that the health department has to be notified when something like this happens so they can contact animal control, apprehend the animal and check for rabies.
Do you know how they check for rabies? They remove the little guy's head!! If he has rabies they take preventive measures by giving the bitten idiot a series of shots. If not rabid they send the bitten idiot home with a warning about being more careful as the next time he/she may not be so lucky. No mention at all about how you have f----d up the squirrel's day.
When they told us what was to be done Sheri and I just looked at each other and decided that Bob should not have to sacrifice all because of my stupidity. Besides, when I last saw Bob he had removed his name tag, thus making it too difficult to identify him as the true culprit.
With a look of utter astonishment, the doctor and the guy from the health department began preparing the order for the vaccine.
In an hour the shots began.
Not fun.
One shot in the left arm, 5 shots in the upper thighs. 3 in the left, 2 in the right.
I have to go to the Health Department 4 more times, once a week for 4 weeks for a follow up shot of the vaccine.
That's not so bad, but the shots in the legs were with something Sheri said had the consistency of jello or really thick syrup. Yummy.
I still have no regrets, although, I am hobbling around like I got hit in the legs with a baseball bat. Besides, the most painful part hasn't happened yet. According to the hospital the bill will be somewhere around 400 dollars. Ouch!
Life's little lessons can be quite painful!

Well, I better go give Bob his sunflower seeds...yeah, yeah, I know...I'm an idiot!


PS You're damned right its gonna find its way into the strip!!


Thomas Holloway said...

You are right when you say that your middle name is "STUPID".

Signed....your NOT STUPID son

Tom Holloway said...

You are too too kind stranger.

Dave Stancliff said...

"Stupid is as stupid does"
-Forest Gump

I love this line and it seemed so approbiate!

Tom Holloway said...

I have been sitting here trying to think of something witty to say. Some classy comeback.
Nope. Nada. Zip-a-dee-doo-da.
I think it truly says it all, as I sit here with another hole in my arm.